Well, it’s gonna happen. My life is going to “officially” begin. In more or less 72 hours, I’ll be waking up in Rome, Italy. And something will be entirely different. I’ll be the big ONE-SIX. 16. It seems like such a small number, but carries such big significance. With being sixteen comes everything good: dating, drivers license (except for that’s postponed until November… figures), and a whole new life of being an adult. As close as I can get to adult, anyway.
Looking back, this year was just… well, odd. It took forever (fifteen really is just an awkward age) and I learned a lot of lessons. Even though I spent most of the year in school, most of these lessons were about life. As I was just reflecting on my upcoming milestone, I figured that I better write down a few of these lessons, if not for whomever reads this blog (I'm thinking that's a negative), for myself to reflect on. Or just to take up space so my blog doesn’t seem so abandoned.
Okay, here come my nuggets of knowledge (teehee, I just made that one up):
~ Sometimes, things just don’t work out how you thought they would. It’s all right, though, because they work out how you need them to.
~ DREAMING is important—you always need to be looking for bigger things. However, you have to keep a grip on reality, just to remind yourself of the important things that you already have.
~ I know a lot more than I think I do. I can do things that I don’t think I have the capacity to. For example, I just won 4th high individual in the meats competition at state FFA. I never even dreamed that I would be 4th out of so many people (I roughly estimated 16th. And I thought that was high). If I have just a little faith in myself, I can do a lot more.
~ I don’t know near as much as I think I do. (Okay, so this is a wee bit contradictory to the above statement. Deal with it.) I know a lot, indeed. I think I know a lot, too. And some of it overlaps. But there are just some things that I don’t know. And if I learn any of it soon, it will probably be the outcome of some stupid mistake, which is all right.
~ Parents are amazing. <3 Also, little brothers, no matter how obnoxious at times, can be amazing friends and the best source of pick-me-ups.
~ Sometimes, you just have to say something. Sometimes it seems like the scariest thing in the world, but you know that you have to. John Mayer said, “You better know that in the end it’s better to say too much than never to say what you need to say.” Taylor Swift said, “In real life, saying the right thing at the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial, in fact, that most of us start to hesitate, for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But lately what I've begun to fear more than that is letting the moment pass without saying anything.” I love both of these quotes. I’ve realized that, frankly, regret stinks. I would much rather say something, ANYTHING, and make a complete fool of myself than to not say anything and let an opportunity pass by.
~ Being short is all right. I’ve struggled with this over the past couple of years but Kristin Chenoweth (Glinda in the original cast of Wicked who is only 4’11) said something that just made me think differently about it. She said, “I used to want to be tall. I thought, 'If I were tall, then people would say I was pretty and not cute.' And then I realized that there are worse things than being called cute.” I totally agree :)
~ I don’t regret ANYTHING from my past. Sure, there are those moments where I look back and cringe from my own stupidity. I’ve had embarrassing moments, awkward moments, emotionally scarring moments. I’ve also had amazing moments, ones that have taken my breath away. I’ve had unbelievable moments where I couldn’t help but pinch myself. I’ve been incredibly beyond happy, I’ve been high in the clouds, down in the dumps, and everywhere in between. All of these feelings, moments, experiences… They’ve made me who I am! And if I’m going to love myself, I have to love these. Besides, they are also the greatest teacher on earth. If I changed even one thing from my past, I would very possibly erase some of my knowledge and, more importantly, my wisdom. There’s a reason older people know everything: They’ve experienced everything.
So there we go. Fifteen really wasn't all that bad. It's kind of an awkward in-betweener age, but that doesn't mean you have to make it horrible. In fact, I would maybe go so far to say it was actually good. Just maybe.
Lovelovelove,
Sierra Janae <3
No comments:
Post a Comment